existential conversations
Rules for a safe, creative, and collaborative environment
Suspending Certainty
Have you ever started to listen to someone speak and thought . . .
Yeah, I already know that. I doubt that’s true. Wow, are they ever disconnected from reality!
We often don’t give much thought to all the beliefs and assumptions that are structuring the ways we see the world. Fixed ideas paralyze our abilities to change, adapt, and appreciate an-other’s view. Whether consciously or unconsciously, we tend to live our lives with a list of ‘certainties’ or assumptions. We are inclined to interpret information with a tendency toward reinforcing preexisting convictions. We cannot listen in a way to fully understand an-other if we have locked down our minds with our own point of view. This way of participating in life is limiting. When we suspend the beliefs, opinions, and judgments that we subscribe to, we suspend our egos, allowing possibilities for new relationships, for new understandings between different perspectives to take place.
“Yes, and . . . “
In discussions, people may choose to share a personal response or thought. Your response must be supportive, open, and lead with a “yes, and. . .” approach. Saying "yes" isn't always about agreeing with someone. It is about affirming their feelings or thoughts. The "and" part allows you to add to the conversation with your ideas.
This technique moves the conversation forward, increases interaction, encourages everyone to fully participate, and experience the most out of the conversation.
For this reason, please remember: no criticism, judgment, fear, shame, or blame. And, never say, “I disagree with you!”